Friday, 17 December 2010


Sometimes when I dream, it is of a familiar place with friends I know very well, but when I awaken, I cannot remember the names of the friends or the town I dream of. This theme is recurrent, and has been for over 20 years.

There is a market. It sells gemstones and jewellery, incense, oils and candles, a little like Camden Lock or maybe Greenwich. I always stop and look at the same stalls.

In my last dream there was a different stall, a man held me by the shoulders and sat me on a stool. He said some words over me (I cannot remember them) and then pressed a piece of rose quartz into my hand - I felt the size, weight and coldness of the stone as clearly as if I had been awake. He looked deeply into my eyes and said 'Now you are healed, keep this rose quartz'

It was so real, that at the first opportunity, I bought some rose quartz and have kept some with me ever since.

I understand, in a way, that my subconscious knew that Lee's leukaemia over the last couple of years and subsequent transplant had been more of a trauma than I would have consciously admitted (to myself or anyone else) and that I needed to be healed.

My faith (which I refer to as Eclectic Paganism - as it seems to fit) has been part of me for 30 years, has never been so important to me as it is now. It is all encompassing but so simple in its entirety. We all walk a path within the great circle of life and all we need to do is live it in the best way we can. We also have to be aware, we will make mistakes. This is only negative if we do not move on from them and stay in a destructive cycle because we haven't learned from them.

I look at everything through new eyes. I look everyday at the sheer, breathtaking beauty of nature. I try to look at men as individuals and not a collective and not to judge others on their chosen paths as long as they do no harm - and if they do, I try to look upon it with sadness rather than anger. If someone asks me about my beliefs I sometimes find myself crying because it is so emotive for me, I feel such a love for it, and sometimes I laugh at the almost absurd simplicity of it.

I feel absolutely no need to try to convert people, because all Gods are one and the same, and anyway a person chooses to worship is a personal and individual right and choice. I have made the right choices for me and I love every minute of my life.

I am Blessed.

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